What a crazy night. Tonight I had dinner at my Friend Johns. I had dinner with his family (a damn fine Chicken Liver Curry) followed by a ride in his Porsche 911 Carrera Coup� and all I have to say about that is I WANT ONE! We drove from karori, took the back roads to Jville, on to the motorway up the coast and back along battle hill road. Dont worry we didnt go over 150k *pfft* No really.
Remember folks. Many Americans died so you could read this post.
Quote of the day: theres so much good in the worst of us and so much bad in the best of us that it ill behoves most of us to speak badly of the rest of us
More:
- Sometimes wanting is better then having
- Esoteric Variables such as scent, sight…
- vis-a-vis (blanch-blanching)
At times like these, one realises that all the hours spent working and worrying about money were wasted and all that was really important was the time I spent with my family and friends…
I have started to feel weird writing this stuff because many people I respect, and even love now visit.
I cannot stop now though, alas this is the last place where freedom of speech means something. So fuck the RIAA and other companies who pose to threaten this flow of conversation! Anyway I’m not here to rant and vent about internet politics (thats why i live in a geek flat) I’m here to speak my truth :)
So. I woke up this morning plagued by this humiliating stinking thinking. The voices in my head were telling me all sorts of crazy shit (you’re not good enough dan, you suck dan, you’re inadequate dan…) blah de fucking blah. Ok so that wasnt “all” that was going on in my head but but it was there like a constant hum in the background. So I went to the saturday morning meeting (it’s never to late) and shared about this stuff. And it lost some of it weight, volume. And now it’s going, going, and almost gone. A fucking bout of insanity I swear!
Previous crazy solutions to my head have been; take copious amounts of drugs (any type), suicide(never had the guts), sex, get pissed, isolate, disown my family, jump out of a plane, drive at 100k into a wall, dump my girlfriends etc etc…
Current solutions that dont seem so crazy, a little more reasonable perhaps; share at a meeting, talk to people who relate, name the voice and tell it to shut up… Oh yeah and of course prayer/meditation (yes i’m a spiritual new age person practicing yoga)
Yesterday John was talking about the media. Because the nature of most media is evil and shocks us, we must be good natured at a primal level . The paradox (which makes sense) is that if we were evil natured at that same primal level then we’d be shocked when we read headlines like “somebody hugged somebody!” or something as equally fuzzy.
Quote of the day: If you’re feeling like shit and everything is dark, then you need to pull your head out of your ass!
I just got back from One Love. A dance celebration at the Velodrome; celebrating Waitangi Day and the DEATH of Bob Marley. I saw lots of people there and had a good buzz – hung with Simon, Norm, Micky, Kerryn, Micky, Jonny, Adrian, Stephan, Tanaya, and then some.
Prior to that I had breakfast with Jonny and Adrian at the ballroom – it’s getting better again, the fat dike who owns the place wasnt there which was good and the hippy who made me a shit Soy Latte last week put it right by making me a good one. The fucker!
Anyway. Time to go out and do more *fun stuff.
*goto beach, coffee at mickys, dance?
ps i’m a nice guy. and i miss amber :-/
Word of the day:blase